Chicken and Egg Theory

I hate to seem so lazy as to post about similar issues in short succession, but time is limited, and my the mind fixates . . . This can however be widely applied.... I try to be a good husband. It's not hard (to try). My wife and I have few hard and fast rules--no beer limits, no surfing policies, no working hours limitations, etc. We don't even really have guidelines. We have expectations though, and they are expressed in praise. For some reason whenever Deanna praises me as a good husband, I'm immediately on the moon. And motivated to get their again. Each affirmation that I have met or exceeded expectations motivates me to strive. I'm not sure if it is the same for her, but I am certain of this, her praise has created and environment of praise. I try to return it in a way that communicates my delight in what she has communicated to me. I'll never be able to remember who offered the first token of praise. The first person to express, "I expected this of a mate and you have surpassed my expectations." But it has been a clear path from there. I think it stems from politeness. Politeness seems underrated in our culture. Driven forceful individuals are rewarded with money and status. Graciousness is often seen as weakness. I would insist the contrary. Graciousness comes from a position of bounty--wealth. To allow for the weakness of others with a joyful heart, and a kind word, is a sign of strength. To be generous with ones self is a mark of self assurance. It is the same with my clients. Those who are never satisfied motivate me to finish their jobs with the least interaction necessary. Those who genuinely seem to appreciate my efforts end up with a product that is better, if for no other reason than it was joyfully produced. Additionally, it is difficult to justify billing an hour spent receiving praise for a job well done. Whereas every nagging phone call from an unsatisfiable client must be accounted. The opposite is also unfortunately true. If a sickly chicken or a rotten egg is layed, the accounting can be devastating. Once the cycle of disappointment has been commenced, it is nearly impossible to reverse. Once the move has been made to a track of criticism, changing course can be difficult. When attacked, or even gently called into question, the impulse to defend is powerful. Kind criticism and reasonable defense may be effective negotiating positions. They may even lead to success. They are however, not fun.